«

»

Nov 13

Print this Post

FUN WITH SCREENCAPS: STARKURT SHIPPER EDITION.

I will be honest. While I always thought Chris Colfer was the BEST actor on Glee, I never shipped his character Kurt with anyone. Not even with Blaine. I KNOW! And though I tried to fight it for all of 5 seconds, the ship of STARKURT seems so wrong it must be right.

I SHIP IT BRO. CAN’T EVEN LIE.

So today I will have some fun ~breaking down the SCENE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND STARKURT FANFICS AND A MILLION TERROR FILLED CAPSLOCK FILLED RANTS OF KLAINER SHIPPERS ON TUMBLR.

Caps from HERE.

GET READY TO SET SAIL AFTER THE CUT.

diner1

Welcome to the singing step touch jazz hands diner, my name is Kurt. Our special today is pot roast with a side of ME.”

*wink*

DINER2

“THANK GOD YOU HAVE THESE AWESOME BRAILLE MENUS, YA KNOW, SINCE I AM LEGALLY BLIND EVEN WITH THESE KICK ASS GRANDPA GLASSES. HO HUM. YEP. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. JUST A LEGALLY BLIND GUY YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE…”

DINER3

*Is strangely aroused by this dorky stranger. Fights the urge to BOOP him on the nose AND rip off his clothes at the same time*

DINER4

“TA DA! I AM THE MASTER OF DISGUISE!! IT Do you like me now? Does this please you? I hope so because I can’t see shit.”

DINER5

“STARCHILD IS ELLIOTT IS CLARK KENT IS SUPERMAN!!! OH MAH GAAAWD!!”

DINER6

“I am so gonna destroy you. You have no idea.”

DINER7

‘So I am just gonna stare at you and use my magical sex powers until you let me be in your ridiculous cover band mmkay? That’s how this is gonna work.”

DINER8

*OOOOH SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE AT LAST I’VE FOUND YOUUUU!!*

DINER9

“So like I am sorry that my strong urge to peacock like a mofo scared the shit out of you. It happens a lot to me. But I really wanna be in your band.”

DINER10

“I’m sorry what? I was lost in your eyes and busy dreaming up shipper names for us…wasn’t listening.”

DINER11

“I NEED TO BE IN YOUR PANTS–ERM I MEAN BAND. BAND. I NEED TO BE IN YOUR PANTS–DAMMIT!! BAND! PANTS! NO…WAIT….WHAT WAS I SAYING?”

DINER12

“Just let me love you Kurt…”

DINER13

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you before. But I’ve came to the conclusion that the best thing for my brand is to surround myself with talented people whose hair is as big and full of sekrits as mine.”

DINER14

“Bitch PLEASE. You know my hair is bigger than yours.”

DINER15

“So anyways I am from New Jersey and I totally came into the city all the time from New Jersey because it’s New Jersey and  who wants to stay there and New York an college and arts and culture and blah blah blah anyways how cute are we? We totes look like we are on a date.”

DINER16

*AND IIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOOOOVE YOUUUUUUU*

DINER18

“Just so you know, you won’t regret hiring me for your band. I OWN A BEDAZZLER.”

DINER19

*TODAAAY I MET THE BOY I’M GOING TO MARRRRRY!!*

DINER20

“Can I just say that while STARKURT sounds quite epic, I am partial to the sophistication of Kelliott….decisions decisions…”

DINER21

“Oh God…is that…your foot? Running….up….my…..thigh…to….my……ughhnnnnghhh….”

DINER22

“I CAME.”

DINER23

“WAIT…FALSE ALARM. NOW. NOW I CAME. YEP. THERE IT IS.”

DINER24

‘Yes I know. My jizz senses were ~tingling.”

DINER25

“So about the band….let’s get serious here….I mean I came all the way from Jersey…”

DINER26

“I PROMISE IF YOU LET ME IN THE BAND I WILL LOVE THE BAND AND HUG IT AND KISS IT AND PET IT AND NAME IT GEORGE. OH WAIT….YOU ALREADY SAID I WAS IN THE BAND DIDN’T YOU? SORRY I’M OVERCOME WITH SEX FEELINGS AND HAVE SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS AND CRAZY EYES.”

DINER27

“Seriously though…how hot am I right? I am shocked you haven’t jumped me yet. It shows strength of character. You may be worthy of my penis grasshopper. You just may be.”

DINER28“HEY EVERYBODY! THIS IS THE NEW GUY I AM GONNA BONE COME SWEEPS!”

DINER29

“SERIOUSLY! WE’RE TOTALLY GONNA DO IT! PEOPLE ALREADY SHIP US AND WE’VE ONLY EXISTED FOR LIKE A MINUTE! THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN YA KNOW.”

DINER30

“Oh. Me gusta.”

DINER31

“MEEEEEEE GUUUUUUUSSSSTTAAAAAAA.”

DINER32

‘Sorry, was that ok that I just told everyone that we are gonna bone? I mean it’s pretty obvious so….oh by the way you are totally in the band. We’re gonna name it Pamela Landsbury though so if you want out now is your last chance…”

DINER33

*SMIZE SMIZE SMIZE*

~FIN~

Permanent link to this article: http://www.thehomeplanet.org/2013/11/fun-with-screencaps-starkurt-shipper-edition/

36 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. lain

    and the crazy eyes lololol
    I kinda liked Kurt with Blaine, but I don’t mind if Kurt decides to have…an affair with the Starchild.

    still shocked to know that the ep 9 will be aired around spring next year.

  2. Voltairie

    O help I be all by myself laffink so hard mebbe I die alone with pee in my pants o lord help.

  3. stardustpf

    Haha!! Those subtitles were perfect!!!! That’s what it looked like!!

  4. Purplegirll

    Im going to destroy you, you have no idea…. *sigh* lawdy that face

  5. Sherry

    If I had been Kurt aka Chris I wouldn’t have been able to speak without stammering like a fool. Adam is so damn sexy and to be that close to him and not want to jump his bones would be insane. Damn Adam looks HOT. http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif

  6. Recklesswanton

    I got to “me gusta” and literally pissed myself laughing. It’s 3am. I have no clue why I’m awake and now I need a shower and clean pjs.

  7. Jo

    http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_good.gif

    Love this!! These caps are hilarious! I think my fav is the bedazzler one.

  8. Charbar

    Once again my lady you prove your awesomeness!!!! http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif

  9. Lulu1265

    HELP! Can’t stop laughing!!!!

  10. Andi4sure

    Girl, I LOVE the way your mind works! You outdid yourself!

  11. Maggie Mae

    What s hot couple…there’s no doubt Starchild can teach Kurt what it’s all about and Kurt is sinking deep in those
    mesmerizing eyes.

  12. Liking

    Laughing out loud and scaring the dogs. What a Whooper! Laughed my arise off, not an easy fete. http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_mail.gif. You are outdoing yourself girl!http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yes.gif. Keep it up, there’s a Pultzler in your prose.http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_unsure.gif

  13. famose1

    CHUNKEY……..HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAhttp://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yahoo.gif

  14. Sher

    Kris will stay true but as he’s banging Blaine, his true love, all he’ll be thinking about are those memorizing NJ blue eyes & Starchild humping the sky. But not until spring….unf#ching believable that they can leave us dry humping til April….Brilliant as always, Chunkey!

  15. Melirose89

    Omg lmfao I can’t even

  16. atomom

    Adam can’t help but be so darn sexy he’s naturally flirtatious.

  17. Shelley n

    *gasp* can’t stop laughing! *gasp*

    but. all levity aside. it’s def NOT my ship. yeah, i luv klaine so f–ing much. not that i’m one of the crays, tho. nooooooooo. just like my boys chipper n stuff. BUT…….. i would NOT be opposed to a 3some *licks lips longingly*
    HEY! FIC WRITERS!!! I WOULD *NOT* BE OPPOSED TO A 3SOME!!!!!!!

    *dizzy* whoooo! what WAS that?? whatevevs…

  18. RPeura

    Oh, hilarious! I just found this place. I’m a die hard Adam Lambert fun.

  19. JazzRocks

    So funny! The best part – “HEY EVERYBODY! THIS IS THE NEW GUY I AM GONNA BONE COME SWEEPS!”

    1. Lauriellen

      That was my favorite line too. Back to Earth…it is just a TV show after all and they will write in whatever they think will make money.
      http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_good.gif

  20. nan

    Chunkey, you are brilliant!!!

  21. modestychild

    Those captions & pics, they made me giggle helplessly. You sure know how to ship StarKurt. http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif

  22. Cafwen

    You are my favourite. Favorite, if you prefer.

  23. shaunna

    so.fucking.hilarious. well done (again).

  24. CeCe

    If that face cannot make Kurt forget Blaine, I don’t know what will. I would have been on that in 2 seconds flat!!!

  25. CJ

    Couldn’t have made it any more entertaining and funny! LOVEEEEE Adam and his new bestie boner! http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yahoo.gif

  26. sagitariusmoon6

    mhvkjgvmjh

  27. Catbites

    So OMG this was so good. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh. Ogle. Drool. Sqee. Yearn. Sigh. All of that. BUT there was this one bit –

    “You may be worthy of my penis grasshopper. You just may be.”

    When I first read it I thought “WTF!? is a penis grasshopper and WHY does Adam/Elliot have a penis grasshopper? And what would Kurt have to do to be WORTHY of a penis grasshopper? Shudder. And then I got a vision of a Penis Grasshopper and. . .stopping now.

  28. joinstar

    Chunkey you outdid even yourself! http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yes.gif

  29. milwlovesadam

    Funniest post ever!!!

    From beginning to end, nearly peed myself!

    “You may be worthy of my penis, Grasshopper”

    Loved that so much! I remember when he called us ( Glamberts ) Glamhoppers!!

    Damn these hiatuses. Need more Lambert now. Never enough Lambert.

  30. sagitariusmoon6

    HAHA Love,love,LOVE http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yahoo.gifhttp://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/HappyRun.gifhttp://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/HappyRun.gifYou Chunkeyhttp://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif

    1. sagitariusmoon6

      Actually I would love to see Eliot helping somebody to come out……..and stop the struggle with his identity.

  31. Caro

    My jizz senses were tingling….LOLOLOL
    jizz sense is the best sense! =D

  32. Carolina

    I have read this so many times and each time I’m laughing harder. This is brilliant! Adam is sooo sexy!!!

  33. Eargasm

    Thank you !!! You are brilliant http://www.thehomeplanet.org/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yahoo.gif

  34. yourworstnightmare

    This made my day! Move over Blaine, Starchild is here! (Just kidding. Hehe.)

Comments have been disabled.

%d bloggers like this: