So guys, I totally LOVED this episode! I’m almost terrified that this recap is going to be boring because all my best work comes from indescribable raaaage and indignation. Ok, wait, what am I saying. I can always pull up some raaage and indigation, I have a bottle of it next to all the Nyquil I’ve been sucking down this past week. Whew, crisis averted!
Oh and look what sexy man decided to take time out from massacring baby pandas and systematically embarassing his newborn son on the internet to grace us with his presence this week..
Ok for the record this episode made overwhelmingly excited in a way that even the PedoDog episode didn’t (not that way, you perverts). He was bouncing on the couch and rambling and randomly smacking my thigh or shoulder, and I swear that he giggled at least four times. Yes, he was drunk. But beyond that, I think he was excited that there was (I quote) “story movement!” and “not as much stupid shit!” and “CASSSSSSSSSSS!” Hey, how about that. My boyfriend in a Minion.
Where were we? Oh yes, the ACTUAL EPISODE.
We open up on this:
Holy shit, Captain Stubing’s Dad is beating up Romo Lampkin! Oh wait, no. The Chechnyan Terrorist from 24 is beating up Badger! No, that’s not right. That dude from Leverage is beating up the guy that’s on every single show that has ever been on television. Yes, that’s it!
Whoa this is taking the *wrong* turn. Cough. In actuality Fergus is mid-torture session with the Alpha Mandroid….who I suppose likes to look like whoever he is in the room with so people can write double porn about him. Mandroid Fergus is denying that he knows where Purgatory is and, wait, why would he know where Purgatory is? Did we ever figure this out? I mean, technically when he DIES then Mandroid Fergus will go there, but how would he know before he goes? I mean, YES, both our Boys have been to Heaven (and Hell) but I doubt they could draw you a map.
D!Romo busts out an knife made out of iridium, which I guess is like Mandroid kryptonite.
: that’s some rare shit
ME: How do you know that? Read it in a comic book?
: Don’t make me gank you
Fergus threatens to cut off all the “bits that stick out” and then contradicts himself by stabbing Mandroid Fergus in the shoulder. Dude, even I know that’s not the best way to torture. Follow through, man! Mandroid agrees with me:
Then he pulls out a baby monitor and threatens to kill all the little Mandroid ITs!!! “My baaaaaaaaaaaaby” I wail at the TV as inches farther away on the couch.
Daddy Mandroid proves that his parenting skills are as advanced as ‘s and says “kill em’ all. We’ll make more.” If I knew the number for Child Services: Hell Division, I would be calling them right now. D!Romo agrees with my take on the situation, and chops his head off with a bad pun to take us to the Luciferian Glass Breaking Intro of Destruction.
We open on a scary looking industrial complex that is probably just a Vancouver water processing center or something. The Most Important Object in the Universe pulls up to two sketchy looking characters. Freckles pulls a masked man out of the backseat and before I can type “kinkmeme fill #490″ it turns out to be an Alpha Ruguru that he is handing over to Fergus’ lackeys. Freckles demands to see Fergus himself but that leads to nothing but this:
Score one for you, Demon Lackey #1 aka Really Attractive Actor Man. Hmmm.
Jared must have been sucking on Jensen’s…..cherry lollipops from last week because his lips are really red.
Freckles wants to be like “Um, Sam’s the bitch, I’m the jerk, get it straight chuckles!” but he stands there like this instead:
They go to some dirty looking flophouse and Freckles is not happy about the fact that they are doing “runs” for Fergus and not getting anything except the need for a “daily rape shower.” Um, have the rape jokes been more frequent lately? I mean it’s pretty common for this show actually, but it seems like more this season. Of course, I can’t really say anything without being a hypocrite because my entire recap a few weeks back was predicated on a Pedophile German Shepherd stalking and lusting after Lois Lane and my absolute glee at my boyfriend’s discomfort with it.
Dimples takes his jacket off and I am momentarily mesmerized by the Padalecki Forearms of Awesomeness.
Then we get another minute of blah-blah-SOUL-blah-SOUL-blah talk as Freckles goes right for the booze. Someday they will need to talk about this functioning alchoholic thing. Like they talked about the changed voicemail. And Nurse Cindy. And ADAM. Ok, I got it, we’re never gonna talk about this.
Mutton Chops of Doom Check:
Freckles sucks down his booze and turns around to see Dimples gone. He pulls out his favorite gun.
(sighing): his gun is so pretty
He checks the house and finds Super Soulless Sammy sprawled out all pretty on the ground like a present. How he got there, erm, how the fuck should I know?
A Demon Lackey knocks Freckles out before any shenanigans can go on and the next scene opens with Delicious Double Winchester Bondage. SCORE!
Damn, I mean I know this has been a season long thing, but Jesus Christ on a cracker Jared looks hot in this episode.
I don’t know man, the skinny face, the pointy nose, the cleft in his chin, yum yum yum. Yes, yes, Jensen, my darling, my love, my light, you are perfect. Don’t be jealous.
Freckles is all “Evil Bitch” and that could mean only one thing…he reads my recaps. NO! It’s means my ONE TRUE LOVE is behind him……MEG!
Ok, stop the fucking presses right here.
Meg 1.0 was my first Demon Love, my first Girl Love, my first Let’s Kill the Winchesters Love. I mean, how hot is she:
She’s the oldest surviving non-Winchester on the show, female or otherwise. But besides that, Meg just makes everything better. I mean, let’s be honest here, what was the absolute best version of Dimples ever?? That’s right– Meg!Sam. Not EmoSam. Not Robo!Sam. Not Sammifer. They all cower at the glory that was Sam with a girl inside him for a week.
(does this count as femmeslash?)
I mean, what could be better than “my daddy shot your daddy in the heaaaad?” Nothing you say? I agree with that assessment. Which is why you are all going to stop reading this recap and go watch the scene in question even though it won’t fucking embed
WATCH THIS NOW PEOPLE
Oh look, it’s Macaulay Culkin’s ex-wife i.e. Meg 2.0! And look, she’s already crawling into a Winchester’s lap, good call girl!
Now Meg Culkin is no Meg Masters, but I love her too. Beyond her innate Megness, she has fantastic taste in boots, epic badassery and that slurry voice that reminds me of my darling Alastair. Now, I know some people have a problem with that type of lisp, if you will. But I love it because it’s a “I’m hissing like a snake because I’m a ferocious demon” kind of lisp, as opposed to a “I’ve injected too much collagen into my lips” kind of lisp. Details, people, details.
Meg Culkin is like “where’s Crowley??” and Dimples is like “No soul, no fear!” and MC is like “twitch” and Dimples is like “Toppy bastard, amirite??” and Freckles is all:
Miss Culkin is not pleased with the Winchester Eyebrow Wiggle so she gets right to the point:
Dimples starts laughing soullessly and Miss Culkin isn’t too pleased with that. She’s also not pleased that she has to wear lipstick to get lips are red as his. LOL.
He insists that there is something stopping Miss Culkin from ganking them all and she twitches in response. Freckles is like “um, she has a knife to my moneymaker” and remains unconvinced. Dimples continues our exposition by explaining that Miss C. needs them to get to Fergus, since he’s obviously ganking all the Luci Lovers roaming around his kingdom. Her minions obviously find his guessing hot and they smirk a little. Freckles, the master of knowing just what to say in any situation, is all:
Meg is all “I feel a standstill coming on, whatcha got for me Soulless guy?” and Dimples is like “work with us” and Freckles is all:
Dimples continues by saying that if they help her get Fergus, then she needs to torture info out of him before she kills him. She likes this scenario and points out that she “apprenticed under Alastair in hell” like Freckles. Ahhhh, so that’s where the voice comes from, he must teach that alongside Intestinal Distress 101 and Where Knives Shouldn’t Go: A Tutorial.
Miss Culkin is pleased with their newfound understanding
She moves to leave, but keeps them tied up, because she loves me personally. On the way out, Bald Minion gives Freckles the look that all Bad Guys Who Loom give him and he shoots back the first round of the usual gay panic for the night.
They get out of the ropes because, as we know, soullessness makes you oblivious to silly things like knots. Freckles starts yelling at Dimples about that whole “working with a demon” thing and Dimples points out that, erm, Fergus is a demon, and they’re working for him. Freckles takes another route and points out Meg is the demon who killed Ellen and Jo. Soulless Guy is like “don’t be emotional, Guy With Soul” and Freckles is like “duuuuude, she’s gonna fuck us up the ass” and Dimples is like “I thought you liked that” and Freckles is like “srsly, we are barely 10 minutes into the episode” and Dimples is like “ok then, we’ll fuck HER in the ass, better?” and Freckles is like “but girly parts, how do they work?” and Dimples is like “I think we need the rest of our OT3, BRB”
So Dimples goes out to pray for some Sparks loving. He does this while making increasingly orgasmic looking faces:
: Why can we see his breath? That’s a bad sign! RUN SAM!
ME: He’s in Vancouver, dude.
Asking nicely is getting him nowhere, so he starts narrating Indiana Jones movies. This of course, totally works, and we get our first glimpse of Sparks in pretty much forever.
Dimples is like “you don’t watch a lot of TBS do you?” and Sparks is like “Why are you bothering me, you abomination” and Dimples is like “I fell into a hole for you people, you better help me” and Sparks is like “you are looking super hot in this episode” and Dimples is all:
So I might have actually moaned at the way Sparks said “boy.” And might have moaned as well. And my cheeks might have been pink. And his cheeks might have been….well he can’t really turn pink.
So they growl at each other and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but SASSY is looking like a viable ship from where I’m sitting. I mean, just imagine the epic hate sex. Guh.
Anyway, I’m wondering why the hell Sparks is listening to the soulless guy pretend like he can actually do anything to him, but then his face gets all sad. He totally went from “abomination!” to “awww, you are kinda pitiful, big fella” in a matter of seconds.
They take it inside to Freckles, who is surprised that Sparks actually bothered to listen to Dimples for the first time in a year. Dimples is like, of course he came!
Sparks ignores him and does the little burning-the-map thing. It fails though, because our poor angel can’t do anything right this season.
The decide to go to the C-Unit compound instead and start snooping around G-Skinny’s office. I’m not sure exactly what they think they’ll find (a big post-it note that says “Directions to Crowley’s Evol Lair” perhaps?) G-Skinny catches them of course, because what does he really have to do but lurk around his compound? Dimples is like “wuuuut, another Stupid Plan, foiled?”
G-Skinny is like ‘why do you keep snooping when I catch you every time?” Freckles decides to cut to the chase and demands to know where Fergus is. G-Skinny wants to know why he should tell them anything and the Boys yell “SOUL!” in unison as G-Skinny shrugs nonchalantly. Freckles dismisses Sparks so they can have a ~family discussion and Sparks is like “later suckas!” and zaps out. Freckles starts singing a round of “We Are Family” and that prods G-Skinny into telling them what Fergus is offering him: a promo still of Young!Mary from last season:
Basically (as we all guessed) Fergus told G-Skinny that he would bring Young!Mary back from the dead. My question is whether or not he knows where she is. I mean, technically, pulling her down from heaven to come in this shithole of a world with a bunch of assholes on a compound is a pretty dick move. However, Ash couldn’t find either her or Sir in heaven, so she might be in hell (or Purgatory, for that matter) and bringing her back would be a good thing. Of course, G-Skinny isn’t thinking about her when he tells Freckles “the difference between us is that you know how to live without her.” Freckles replies by remaining beautiful.
G-Skinny is like “you don’t know how I feel!” and Freckles is like “Um, hello, sold my soul for that guy over there” and G-Skinny is all “well, then you are a hypocrite!” and Freckles is all “learn from our mistakes, idiot” and G-Skinny is all “no one learns from their mistakes on this show, c’mon” and Freckles is all “ACHILLES HEEL!” Dimples remains stoically soulless in the corner.
Freckles tries to point out that Mary probably wouldn’t be too happy about her dad selling her sons down the long soulless river, but he’s like “srsly sick of your faces, get out” and the Boys glower at him for a second and split.
Next we go back to the Motel Room of the Week, where Sparks is sitting there….watching porn.
LMAO, didn’t he have a civil war to fight? Relics to collect? Towns to smite?
Anyway, he’s watching the Pizza Man spank the Babysitter and is utterly confused by it.
LMAO forever. I can’t decide whether I’m picturing more of this:
The only thing I know for sure is that I’m currently shipping Bicycle/Pizza Man. What?? It’s a sickness.
Freckles is like “wtf” and Sparks is like “duh, the civil war is hella boring” and Freckles is like “you don’t watch porn in a room full of dudes” and Dimples is like “you obviously never went to college.”
And then this happens:
Aaaaaand we can now definitively say that Sera Gamble spent her summer reading fanfic. I mean, I don’t even ship Sparkles and even *I* have read this one (or four). LMAO.
Of course, G-Skinny decides to visit at this very moment.
Oh Misha Collins. You and your comedic timing! Lulz.
The moment passes and we are back to srs biz. G-Skinny came bearing gifts: the Post-it with directions to Fergus’ Evol Lair. Dimples is all “come with us” and G-Skinny is like R U SRS RN.
The boys are like “we are totes suicidal, andiamo!”
The guys go out to meet Meg and the Culkin Lackeys and Sparks is not happy. He busts out the “why are we working with these abominations” and, as Ruby: The Golden Years would say:
Miss Culkin, however, is utterly turned on by her Clarence, as she should be.
Dimples tells her that they know where Fergus is, but that they will go with her so that she doesn’t fuck them over. She’s all “you boys have serious abandonment issues” and GURL that’s the understatement of the year LOL. Dimples gets Super Toppy and demands that she give him Ruby’s knife. He starts doing this, and I get post-S4-stress flashbacks.
: Gank her! Gank her!
ME: Shut your whore mouth, that’s Meg!
(stabbing his thigh and whispering): Gank her, gank her!
ME: Is there anything about *your* soul you’d like to tell me?
: Why don’t you fist me and find out?
ME: You are going to regret putting that suggestion in my head.
Dimples instead ganks the Bald Minion, just to show off.
Miss Culkin is like “give it back!” and Dimples is like “me Tarzan, knife Jane!”
The entire room is aroused, including the remaining minions, one of which looks like Christian Kane.
Freckles is like:
Sparks is like:
Even Ricky Martin is like:
Miss Culkin however is like “I was inside that guy, been there, done that” and gives Sparks the once over instead.
She’s so fab, I love her.
And then we get a moment of Dimples playing with his gun, and no that is not a euphemism.
We hop over to our rather mournful looking angel.
He tells Freckles that he’s “ambivalent” about what they are about to do. Freckles agrees that “breaking into Monster Gitmo” isn’t easy, but Sparks corrects him by saying that he doesn’t think “retrieving Sam’s soul is wise.” He points out that The Dimpled Soul has been locked in a cage with Luci and Mike for over a year where they have “nothing better to do but take their frustrations out on him.”
Obligatory “But What About Adam!?!” reference of the recap:
I really hope Mike wasn’t kidding in the finale when he said “Adam isn’t home right now” and he’s off dancing through the cornfields with his mom and Aunt Michelle Pfieffer.
Sparks continues on about forcing “that mutilated thing down Sam’s gullet” and how much “psychic pain” it could cause him. Freckles points out that Sparks don’t know shit and that if he’s not okay then some Angel Intervention will be needed. Sparks keeps hemming and hawing but Freckles is like “DUDE” and I’m with my boy on this one. I mean, even if they bring Sam back as a fucking vegetable, how is that worse than STAYING IN HELL FOR ETERNITY WITH LUCIFER PLAYING WITH YOUR INTESTINES? Stick his soul back in him, mercy kill him if you have to, and send him off to heaven to play with a shiny naked angst-free version of his brother.
Unfortunately, currently-a-non-vegetable-and-loving-it-Dimples overheard that entire convo and isn’t that pleased about the “Sam suffers horrifically” bit tacked on at the end.
Gah, I’m loving all the classic SPN shadows in this episode. Good work, Director Singer.
Next the whole sordid gang ends up at Fergus’ Lair, which looks suspiciously like the mental hospital from last season. They break in super easily and Freckles is all “too easy” and Dimples is like “yes, easy” and everyone side-eyes each other. They walk down a nasty looking hallway with cells full of monster creatures, including the super gorgeous djinn girl from the premiere episode. She begs Freckles to help her and he remembers the chest grope he got from her brother with fondness.
They continue down the hallway until Sparks senses a disturbance in the force. Miss Culkin is like “ah shiii” as the residents of ‘s Hellhound Rescue come out to play. Freckles is like ZOOOOOM:
They start running….although why the hell an Angel of the Lord needs to run from some hell hounds is beyond me LOL. Minion Kane and the Other One end up puppy chow just as they manage to get one of the doors shut. They Salt Zoom the door quickly and contemplate what the fuck they are going to do now (besides, you know, Angel Zapping away). Freckles is like “I knew this was a trap!” and Miss C is like:
Lulz! She’s all, for the record, I didn’t know about this little bit, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not getting the fuck outta dodge. She prepares to beam out:
Alas, Fergus has smartly put enough wards on the building to get her locked inside Meatsuit 2.0. Freckles takes a second to gloat.
Dimples pulls out the Demon Knife and starts to hand it to Meg, telling her to hold off the dogs since she can see them. She tells him to keep it to kill Fergus and then does this:
Which then leads Sparks to do this:
Which continues on, leaving the boys utterly befuddled.
But leaves Miss Culkin feeling rather “clean.”
Yes, she kissed him to get his sword. Yes, he learned how to use his sword from the Pizza Man.
starts flipping the fuck out at this point about a demon having the angel killing sword, and he doesn’t shut up about it for the rest of the night.
She tells them to run and prepares to be badass and awesome.
She starts ganking the fuck out of our fave invisible canines as the boys continue on deeper into the lair. Until, G-Skinny decides to show up and be an epic asshole.
Motherfucker sold out his grandsons, of course, and the boys gets manhandled by the Lackeys from the beginning of the episode. Fergus comes out to brag.
Fergus is like “I’m totes gonna kill you now” and the boys growl at him. Eventually they are demon-muscled into their own tasty cages as we flash back to Miss Culkin reigning victorious over the last of the hellhounds. Sadly, she is taken out by Cousin STFU, who also gets the angel sword, causing to go into a seizure on the couch next to me. Meg isn’t too happy with it herself.
Freckles hollers over to Dimples that he’s “standing in pee” which is actually one better than Dimples so, yuck? I figured Fergus had higher standards for his monster jail, since he’s all classy like that. Freckles’ little window opens and it’s G-Skinny, who wants him to “understand.” Freckles calls him a liar who says he wants to put blood first. He compares that part of him to Sir, except Sir actually DID put blood first and I shake my fist with a “FUCK RIGHT YO!” at the TV. G-Skinny points out that he is putting blood first, just the female and blonde variety. He says that he doesn’t even know what the hell Soulless guy is and that Freckles is “a stranger.” He demands to know what Freckles is supposed to be to him.
Then the man I know and love as The Real Dean Winchester replies.
(“Right after I kill Roy and Walt from last season”)
God I love you, you cocky motherfucker.
G-Skinny scurries off as the Lackeys come to take Freckles away for his ~punishment.
Oh dear. Next up is Miss Culkin strapped naked to a table like Ruby: Version Please God No. Ok, I’m trying to think about this logically instead of screaming “WTF WRITERS” at the TV. I mean, this form of torture is pretty specific, with the leather straps with the symbols to hold down demons. It’s not used on, for example, the Mandroid from the beginning of the episode. Have we seen them used outside of The One I Don’t Talk About and Miss Culkin? The only other one I can think of is the hallucination of Alastair that Dimples had in 4.21. Hmmm, now I’m suddenly waaaaay more upset that we didn’t get naked Padalecki strapped down while my darling Al had his way with the Padacock. And shit, that was a Sera episode too! Such lost opportunity!!
So I’m gonna skip this part of the proceedings. Let’s just say Miss Culkin is fierce and epic and badass, even naked and strapped to a table by Parker Lewis.
Speaking of what-the-fuckery, we flash back to Dimples in his cell chillaxin. The he very nonchalantly does this:
I am screaming at this point because I’m like “WTF, is he drinking his own demon blood??” and is literally making dolphin noises next to me. Seriously, the only time poor Sam Winchester has ever been good enough for my boyfriend was when his face was covered in blood and he snarled “wait your turn.” He actually still opens conversations with that line, which is disturbing on more levels than I count.
We flash to Freckles getting dumped in a room I like to call The Edlund Suite, because there is blood and entrails everywhere. The Lackeys bring in a couple of ghouls to have their finger licking way with him and he throws in another prison rape joke, just because it can’t get much worse than the others.
More importantly, we go back to Dimples to find out what the fuck is going on. Turns out, Smart Soulless Guy has returned and he drew a DEVIL’S TRAP ON THE CEILING IN HIS OWN BLOOD. The badassery of this has been unseen since Sparks carved some enochian curlie-cues in his chest and went mano-a-mano with a room full of angry angels. We both might have actually seal clapped as the Lackeys got caught in the trap and Dimples did this:
Let’s not try to contemplate how he got on the ceiling. I mean, Soullessness causes things like super speed, super strength, and douchebaggery. Maybe he can fly too? Right?? Right.
Back to Freckles fending off the ghouls. Dimples runs down the gross hallway and then pulls a pipe out of the wall. I might have swooned but don’t tell Kat because she’s gonna be really smug about this.
Then we pop back to the scene we probably want to not talk about. The only thing we need to worry about is the end (thank god) to Cousin STFU once and for all.
Freckles unties Miss Culkin’s straps because he’s nice (and dumb) like that.
Oh look, it’s Fergus and his tumbler! Classy, what did I tell ya?
He stops to harass Gorgeous Djinn Girl who remains gorgeous and perfectly coiffed.
(why are the one-offs way more gorgeous than the regulars? Hello CASEY my Demon Princess)
An alarm rings, interrupting their tete-a-tete. Fergus isn’t happy about it.
He goes into the torture room and sees a ganked Cousin STFU and a rather smug looking Freckles. Before he can react, however, Dimples smashes him with his trusty pipe, right into a devil’s trap.
Dimples just flew up to the ceiling again. No big! Fergus wants to know what he’s getting out of this shindig.
My love comes in, looking really pleased with herself (as she should be!)
Fergus calls her a whore so she brings that bitch to his knees with one clench of her fist.
She points out that the best torturers never get their hands dirty and I squee. She tells Fergus that ol’ Sammy has a few questions for him and he happily (snort) agrees. Dimples is like “SOUL!” and Miss Culkin is like “damn, too bad boy, I like you all heartless and mean.” Dimples ignores her and he’s allowed to do that because they share a profound bond of meatsuit riding. Fergus is like “SOUL?” and Miss Culkin (if you’re nasty) squeezes the fist again with glee.
Fergus admits that he CANNOT get Dimples’ soul back and I high five because I called that shit the moment they originally said it. Fergus does throw in one of his exemplary insults though.
Hee, I swear Mark Sheppard makes this shit up to fuck with Jared.
Fergus basically says that he managed to sneak in the backdoor and grab Dimples’ delectable body before creeping back out again. It seems Luci is the cat and Dimples’ poor soul is the mouse. Fergus then adds his vote to the “you don’t really want that old thing back, do you?” poll.
Dimples is like “ummm”
They give Miss Culkin the knife to gank the now-useless Fergus, but alas he’s a quick little tailor. He overpowers her, uses the knife to crack the devil’s trap Dimples flew to draw, and sends the boys to their rightful place pinned against the wall.
Before he can do any more damage, Sparks comes in and growls “leave them alone.” Then, in the absolute best line of the episode Fergus drawls “Castiel…haven’t seen you all season.” LO-fucking-L.
Sparks tries to batman voice him, but Fergus laughs and taunts him about losing to the Sassy Gay Archangel. Sparks shuts him up by pulling out his skull….which I guess he didn’t hide well enough after getting his bones back from the boys. Um, that totally make sense (eyeroll).
Fergus is begrudgingly impressed.
And lets the boys down from the wall. I wonder how many different ways the Js have practiced pretending to be stuck to the wall LOL.
Sparks demands to know if Fergus can get Dimples’ soul back. After hesitating for a minute, he admits he can’t. Then BAMF!Sparks is like “see ya!” and makes fire with his fingers. UNF.
RIP fair Fergus/Crowley/Badger/Romo/ChechnyanTerroristGuy/CaptainStubing’sDad/EveryoneElse
Dimples goes to pick up the knife as Miss Culkin zaps off to go become Queen Bitch of Hell, as she so rightfully deserves.
Freckles is like “haha I was gonna kill her, but first I would give her to my angel friend for some double-vessel rape haha” and Sparks is like “stop saying words.“
Next we go outside for a Winchester Plus One over-the-impala talk. Shockingly, Freckles actually THANKS Sparks for saving their asses (again). Sparks admits that things “upstairs” aren’t going well for him (i.e. Sassy is kicking his ass). Freckles offers to help, but let’s be honest. Sparks says:
Freckles says they understand (since when LOL) but that:
Dimples is all “hmm what should I have for dinner?”
Sparks is like “we’ll find another way” to get his soul back. Dimples sends him off to, I’m assuming, gank all the monsters since they can’t leave them and can’t let them go.
SAVE THE GORGEOUS DJINN GIRL!
Sparks angel zaps out and Freckles is like “SOUL!” Dimples is like “NO WANT SOUL!” and Freckles is like “BUT SOUL!” and Dimples is like ” SOUL MAKE VEGETABLE!” and Freckles is like “BUT SOUL LOVE DEAN!” and Dimples is like “TOO BAD, GUY WITH SOUL” before walking off.
We get one final cry from Freckles that leaves beaming with happiness.
Now *that* Dimples made sense to me. Basically everything I bitched about last week was rectified, character wise. Soulless Sammy was smart, methodical, logical, and intimidating. He wasn’t the blundering idiot of last week that couldn’t figure out how to wipe his own ass just to get a few cheap laughs. The guy from this episode fit the guy we were introduced to at the beginning of the season. This was the dude that paid a hooker for sex so he wouldn’t have to talk versus the guy last week who fell into bed with random groupies who wanted to do nothing BUT ask questions.
Does it make sense that Robo!Sam doesn’t want his soul back? Duh, of course it does. Does it also make sense that Freckles KNOWS that the risk is worth it? Absolutely. That’s the struggle, that’s the pull, the problem that they are going to have to overcome. Do I want to see Freckles teaching Dimples to be human? FUCK NO. Dimples was alone a year, he’s not an invalid. I want to see how Freckles can rectify what he knows is right versus Dimples’ sense of self-preservation. Don’t get me wrong, I want Real!Sammy back more than most people, but I’d rather walk this road until we get there instead of the false hilarity of the past few episodes.
For the record, I woke up to this Saturday morning:
ME: Good morning babe
: But really, where is the angel sword??
I can’t possibly end this recap without another shot of our TV Guide cover, which was won with our blood, sweat, tears, and carpal tunnel. Yes, they photoshopped stubble on them. Yes, they made Jared’s eyes blue. Yes, Jensen looks like the gayest porn star who ever gayed. The only thing that is important is: ONLY ONE LAYER OF CLOTHING, PEOPLE!
Matt Cohen’s Thighs Hotness Scale: Wrist biting +10,000; Pink lips Jared version +3000
Old Spice Clouded Hinky Meter: Naked torture porn -100,000
XX Chromosome Factor: Queen Bitch of Hell +1 million
Wincestosity: NONE: All about the Sassy
Gifs by vt_graphics and KAT
MASTERLIST OF RECAPS HERE