SO. THIS EPISODE.
Behind this cut is angst, intense graphics, and my soul.
Click if that sounds like your thing
Where do I start? I’ve watched this episode and then re-watched it with Bushy (for moral support) and went to bed thinking about it and sat on the train this morning thinking about it and stared at the gifs thinking about it and–I’m still thinking. For that reason alone, BEST EPISODE OF THE SEASON. I didn’t think anything could beat “The End” but this episode moved me so much (in good and bad ways) that I think I’ve decided it stands alone. What does it say about me that my favorite episodes (this, “The End”, and my ALL TIME FAVE, the season two finale–which actually are all related) are the ones that break the Boys into a million little pieces? Oh God (grrr), I’m one of those sick Deangirls who loves broken!Dean, aren’t I?
I legit cried more during this episode than anything on TV since JDM-as-Denny died on Grey’s Anatomy (of course my boyfriend insists: “John Winchester did NOT die of an fucking air bubble!”)
(going outside to smoke): Way too much angst in this house…
ANYWAY, I’ll just start from the beginning and work this shit out as I go. Come along with me, my Sisters!
So it was confirmed at LA Con that the last two episodes were in fact switched. Continuity was my major concern last week, so this news soothed that. We open on a motel room full of empty booze bottles and Freckles passed out in his clothes, and this feels exactly right after the Famine episode.
He’s wakened by the two hunters in ski masks that already have Dimples at gunpoint. He recognizes their voices and outs them as Walt and Roy (hee, evol!Disney reference #1). They accuse Dimples of thinking he can just start the Apocalypse and get away with it and then:
FUCKING HELL. I can’t keyboard smash over Dimples’ dying because he does it so often. LOL. One more time though, with feeling. The look on Freckles’ face is killer, even though the realization hits him that the angels will bring them back to life. Still, look at this face:
Roy tells Walt that they have to kill Freckles too since he figured out who they were and no one wants “Dean Winchester riding your ass forever”…UM speak for yourself dude! Freckles tells Walt to just kill him already but that “when I come back I’m gonna be pissed.”
We open up with Freckles in the Impala (of course his baby came to Heaven with him! LOL) and we see his breath (fucking cold ass Vancouver-heaven!) Suddenly we see the best child actor on the show (well besides my girl bbLilith)….bb!Dimples!!
How to Make JC bawl like a child, Step One
bbDimples is holding a box of fireworks and motioning for Freckles to follow him out into the nearby field. He starts setting them off and Freckles realizes this is one of his memories: July 4th, 1996.
bbDimples is beaming at Freckles with such hero-worship and telling him how amazing he is for letting him do something Sir never would allow. Freckles is dumbstruck. I was so overwhelmed with the fucking JOY in this scene that I burst into tears. thought I was insane.
bbDimples tells him what a great brother he is and hugs him and I curled in on myself like a fetus
Look at his reaction! Freckles hasn’t had THAT VERSION of Dimples in so long he doesn’t even know how to take it! But then once he realizes it’s being given, he accepts it and is SO FUCKING AMAZED AND PEACEFUL LOOKING. OMG, this face:
Shit, I’m sitting here at work, crying again. Fuuuuuuuu.
Keyboard Smash #1: kdjfaksfjkdsfjsdkfjasnmnbmbn9adfa
Of course, like all good things in the SPN Universe, the memory fades and Freckles is back on the asphalt. He hears a voice coming from the Impala
and realizes that it’s Sparks in the radio (like Dimples was in Changing Channels). I guess he’s using the Gabester’s Angel Radio spell, but the connection is much weaker. The writers throw a bone to the Freckles/Sparks shippers with a pithy “stop poking around in my dreams” from our boy. Freckles finally figures out where he is and says “I’m dead!” Sparks deadpans: “condolences.” Hee. Sparks tells him that different people see different things i.e a tunnel or a light. Looks like Freckles’ road is literally a road (typical). Sparks tells him to “follow the road to Sam!” and well, kjdakfsjdfkjsdkf.
He does just that and we find a house with a random family having Thanksgiving dinner…with Dimples.
Freckles is confused of course, as is Dimples, who asks him why he’s in his dream (we won’t talk about what’s in my dreams but it might include Idris Elba and a Battestar Galactica uniform). Freckles informs him that they are in HEAVEN and Dimples is, understandably, perplexed why he’s there. Freckles, yes, but Dimples has done some…things (cough*nurse*cough). Freckles, always fucking loyal, says that he meant well, but Dimples is still skeptical. It’s then he realizes that Heaven must be made up of their best memories. Freckles is not too happy that one of Dimples’ seems to be a thanksgiving with a “normal” family instead of something with them.
Before he has time to reflect on that some more we get the good old angel light & thunder show. Freckles starts looking for Sparks in the electrical appliances (of course) and we find him on the TV:
Sparks tells them that they need to NOT go to the light (which would return them to Earth) and instead they need to find a special angel named JOSHUA who talks to God.
The Boys are confused why going back to their bodies is a BAD thing, and Sparks can’t fucking deal with their shit anymore. He tells them that it’s time to find out “what the HELL God has been saying.” Well now! Blasphemy 101, you fallen angel you! LOL. He tells them they have to find “the road”, the path through Heaven to “the garden” where Joshua is. Freckles is down with it, reminding Dimples that faith and prayer is “the last hope of a desperate man.” Touche, bb. They start looking for the road, and Freckles looks in the closet (the road is in the closet? Of course it is, Jensen, of course it is). They find a child’s toy set and then they are transported back to Freckles’ childhood bedroom…and wardrobe:
Suddenly….MAMA WINCHESTER NOT-MUCH-OLDER-THAN-YOUNG-MARY EDITION (i.e. Mama 2.0)! Gah, she’s in a white sundress and smiling and ALIVE and so, so beautiful
We pan to the kitchen, where Mama 2.0 is pouring Freckles a glass of milk and making him a sandwich. Dimples tries to call out to her but she doesn’t respond and Freckles gently tells him that this is not his memory. Dimples gets teary eyed, and I’m right there with him as Mama 2.0 cuts the crusts off Freckles’ PB&J for him:
Dimples tries to prompt Freckles to leave, but he begs for one more minute. My heart, meet the pit of my stomach. Mama 2.0 gets a call and we realize that it’s SIR! Freckles remembers that Sir left them for a few days when he and Mama 2.0 were fighting, even though he had two young sons. Dimples is shocked, but Freckles says that it seems the marriage wasn’t perfect “until after she was dead.” Oh, Kripke, I get it already–Sir was a bastard who avenged his wife out of guilt not love. FML.
Freckles, who in this incarnation has to be no older than four fucking years old, goes over to comfort his mother.
He tells her that Sir still loves her and that he loves her too and will never leave her. FOUR YEARS OLD. Dimples cries and I cry and is confused by our crying enough to go smoke again. We once again get a variation on the canon line that is now so fucking twisted, it’s not even funny:
And then she offers him PIE and once again we finally learn the genesis of Dean Winchester.
A almost-content Freckles turns back to Dimples, who is teary again. When asked why he says that he never realized how long they’ve been cleaning up Sir’s messes.
Next thing we know we are beamed to a trailer park in Flagstaff, where Dimples is greeted by a shaggy dog and Jared Padalecki is happier than he’s been in five seasons LOL:
As Dimples has fun with Bonesy the Dog, Freckles comes to the grim realization that they are in the memory of when Dimples ran away from home as a kid and was on his own for two weeks, i.e THE FIRST TIME DIMPLES LEFT HIM. Freckles is shocked that this is a happy memory for him, while he thought he was dead and (it’s implied) got the shit beat out of him by Sir for letting Dimples run away. Dimples, chastened, said he never thought of it that way. Therein lies the problem.
They leave the trailer and are suddenly in the middle of the street outside a creepy house. Dimples figures out what night it is, but tries to deflect the knowledge away from Freckles. He, of course, remembers and is devastated because it’s the NIGHT HE DITCHED THEM FOR STANFORD.
How to make JC bawl like a child, Step Two:
Freckles is hit with the realization that every single one of Dimples’ heaven memories (the ones shown at least) have been about him ditching his family. Dimples, trying to explain, says that he never had those crust-cutting moments like Freckles did so he doesn’t think about family like him.
Freckles reminds him that HE is his family. That they are supposed to be in this fight together, a team, Sam’n’Dean against the world. Dimples tries to back track but I think this is the exact moment when the Future!Dean of episode 5.4 stopped believing in his brother.
But before my emo-dar can go up any higher a bright light washes over them and they start running. Now, finally, it is time for the re-introduction of my favorite angel (sorry Sparks) AND my favorite villain (nice knowing ya, Alistair): ZACH aka BadAssMotherFuckingAngel or BAMFA.
: that guy is so republican
BAMFA, of course, just wants to return the Boys to their bodies on Earth…after he rips them a few new holes of course. He snaps his fingers and it’s suddenly daytime. He mocks them as usual and just as they are going to get caught, a skinny man in a Mexican wrestling uniform (I have proof, see gif) jumps out at them:
Since skinny Jack Black is better than BAMFA’s hole-ripping, they go with the man as he draws some sort of Enochian sigil on a building door and enters. It’s the Heaven version of the Roadhouse! The masked man reveals himself with flair:
It’s everyone’s favorite Mullet wearer: ASH! Ok, so looks like his mullet is clip-on this time, but the sentiment is the same LOL. The Boys are pleased to see him and the shiny new Roadhouse and an always classy Ash sets them up with some beers
The writers use dear Ash to explain Heaven..which turns out to be 100 billion little individual heavens with the mysterious “Garden” in the middle.In our evol!Disney reference #2, he explains that Heaven is like Disneyland without the anti-semitism. LMAO. He explains that there are different versions of heaven, like Winchesterland and Ashland and that he helped (with the sigils it seems) bring them into his version. He says that some people do SHARE their heaven. Who shares, you ask?
Keyboard Smash Infinity x 10 Million Points: dfadfjkdsjfkbanvbCANONBITCHES
There is a tiny ackward silence as they look at each other and we realize who Ash is talking about. The implication is blatant. Ash had to work some magic to get them into his heaven….and yet Freckles found Dimples easily…because they were in the same heaven (i.e.”Winchesterland”).
You can’t ever take that back Kripke, you hear me??? No matter how much angst and drama you throw at them, they are CANON SOULMATES
*clutches myself to my own bosom*
Anywaaaaaaaay, Ash explain that he created a sort of Angel Scanner that allowed him to go into other people’s heavens, like Einstein, Johnny Cash, Andre the Giant, and the dude who wrote the Kama Sutra. LOL. He says that he has met the Boys in heaven before, but they don’t remember it. Ash realizes that the fucking angels must have “windexed” their memories of it. The Boys eagerly ask about Ellen and Jo and Ash’s devastated face says he didn’t know. He said they must have went down fighting
and of course Broken!Freckles retorts “a lot of good it did them”. The question here is where are they?? I’m going to assume that Ash just hasn’t found them yet (or they are being hidden by BAMFA for later nefarious purposes) because there is NO WAY that they are not in heaven. Ash hasn’t found Sir and Mama 2.0 yet either, but let’s be honest, they could be in Hell for all we know (she made the deal with YED and it was never clear where Sir went after busting out of the Hell’s Gate). There is one person, however, who is there to greet them:
It’s PAMELA…with eyeballs…and those eyebrows! Woot!
Here and Freckles sit down for some catching up, after she smacks him for getting her killed
He responds that, hey, they got Ash killed too, and Ash is like:
LMAO forever, love you Ash!
Not-blind-Pamela tells Freckles more about Heaven (her version is one long concert at the Meadowlands…holla Jersey girl LOL). Freckles says that it’s nothing more than Memorex and that he prefers real people and real life down on Earth. She calmly starts giving him a “hey, maybe saying yes to Mike isn’t that bad a thing…” speech and while I’ve seen some people question whether or not she is just a BAMFA mindfuck because of it, I think she (and Ash) are real. I think the writers are utilizing a well-liked, unbiased, and no-bullshit character to make the point that maybe, just maybe, saying yes is a logical choice. The mytharc isn’t nearly as interesting if there are not shades of gray.
It’s time to leave and Ash explains that the road to The Garden is a dangerous one with BAMFA out for their asses.
The Boys say goodbye to Not-Blind-Pamela. Dimples gets a hug (and I’m shocked she didn’t grab his ass as usual)
And like any proper Deangirl, she grabs Jensen Ackles and goes to town
Get it gurl! I can’t even be mad, my heaven is making out with Dean too
With a final goodbye from Ash (“don’t want to be a downer, but see you again soon”) the shenanigans stop and they are beamed back into their family home. Mama 2.0 is there, back in her normal Pilot-episode-nightgown. Freckles gently says she’s not real….as she starts bleeding out. With venom, Evol!Mama 2.0 starts telling him she never loved him and that he was a burden to her. Freckles, even though he knows it’s not real, is fucking devastated (again)…just as her eyes TURN YELLOW.
She starts describing her death, how the skin bubbling off her felt and smelled. Like burnt pot roast (ewwwwwwwww). She keeps hitting his trigger points: “everyone leaves you Dean..Mom, Dad..Sam” and points out that maybe it’s HIM that is the problem. It’s of course a huge BAMFA mindfuck and he appears with his Angel Goons, who grab the Boys. He then does this:
And it’s SO EVOL and SO HORRIBLE and I squeal in delight. He then proceeds to call Evol!Mama 2.0 a “MILF”. Oh BAMFA, how I love thee!
He then goes off on a fucking tirade. He is pissed because once he was a contender! He was working his way up the ladder! He had RESPECT! And now, since he got assigned these “pathetic flannel wearing maggots” people are LAUGHING AT HIM. Bitches better recognize…it’s personal now.
He says HE is the worst enemy they could have because while Luci is strong…he’s PETTY. I can’t even talk about how awesome Kurt Fuller is in this scene. Sheer brilliance.
They are interrupted however:
…by Morgan Freeman
Ok, ok, so it’s not Morgan Freeman. Chunkey, put away the “That’s Racist!” gif. It’s actually JOSHUA, the superduper God-talking angel! He tells BAMFA that God told him to leave those boys alone. BAMFA is like “what if I don’t believe you” and Not-Morgan-Freeman looks at him like “bitch please, you wanna chance it??” BAMFA pees a little and splits.
They are beamed to what appears to be the Garden, which is not terribly impressive. NMF tells them that they see what they want to see, whether it be a throne room or the Garden of Eden. Seems like the Boys decided to see the Cleveland Botanical Garden (LMAO). I think the main thing we should be taking out of this is that HEAVEN IS JUST ONE BIG FUCKING ILLUSION.
They ask him why God would talk to him of all beings, and he says that he thinks God is lonely and likes to talk one gardener to the other. He says that GOD IS ON EARTH, conjuring a trillion questions about who, if anyone, is God’s vessel (Bobby? Sir? Alanis?) The Boys tells him that they want to give God a message, but he cuts them off by saying God has a message for them: “BACK OFF”
He says God is over it, that’s he’s helped them enough (putting them on the plane in the season opener, resurrecting Sparks, giving Dimples salvation for his sins) and that’s it’s not his fucking problem anymore. Freckles, seeing his last hope shattered, replies “so he’s just a deadbeat dad with a bunch of excuses”. With false bravado, he says he will muddle through. NMF sadly tells him that he doesn’t think this time he can. That he’s losing faith, in the world, in his brother. He tells them he is sending them back to Earth, but this time God wants them to remember.
They are flashed back to life in the wrecked motel room and Dimples comes back to life with a gasp worthy of Captain Jack Harkness.
Goddayum his hair is big. John Barrowman never had hair that big, no matter how many times he was killed and brought back to life. LOLOLOL.
Anyway, Freckles follows suit, with a suitably smaller gasp, and they check out their healed wounds and bloody clothes. The camera pans until we come face to face with the saddest looking angel in the garrison:
Looks like they just told Sparks that his dad doesn’t give a shit. He graduates to Blasphemy 201 with a well-timed “sonofabitch” aimed at the ceiling (picking up vocab from his BFF, I see…)
The last member of Team Free Will completely demoralized, he throws the amulet back at Freckles, sneering that it’s worthless. Dimples, seemingly the only one left with any fight in him, tries to stop him:
Side note: interesting cross pattern with the buttons on Dimples’ shirt…I wonder if it means anything
Sparks disappears and Dimples tries to rally his brother.
Dimples: “we’ll find another way”
Dimples: “you and me, we’ll find it”
Freckles responds by walking to the door and:
How to make JC bawl like a child, Step Three:
The Amulet, the symbol of their bond, what Dimples wore while Freckles was IN HELL, the thing that Freckles almost punched Sparks for suggesting he give up even to find God. That amulet.
I think that is the worst thing I’ve ever seen on this show. Worse than all the times they died. Worse than hell. Worse than Dimples’ mutton chops. It was pure rejection. The amulet was like a cross: hard to wear it once you have lost faith. But this represented his faith in Dimples, so….I don’t even know, guys, I just don’t know.
One thing is for certain: Dimples better go over there and fetch it out of the trash and put it in his duffel bag and clutch it tight until he can return it triumphantly to his brother’s sexy ass neck.
My thoughts: I think I loved this episode more than anything because I fucking love back story. I think part of the reason I love the fanfic is because they tell variations on the history that these fucking amazing characters have. Yes, yes, porn is *awesome* but I feel like I want to know so much about these guys that I crave any kind of information I can get. When we get the CANON version of little details like where Dean got his pie love from or what the Winchester marriage was really like or how Dimples gave Freckles the amulet, it feels like Christmas (even when it hurts).
I think this is a turning point for Dimples. I think he *finally* came to realize how his actions affected his brother, after all this time. I think he has apologized for a lot of things in the past (Ruby, Luci, etc) but he has never acknowledged how much Freckles has been collateral damage. However (for once, right Kat?) I can’t demonize (he) Dimples. Upon reflection, I think they both are at fault here without even realizing it. Think about Freckles’ first memory: his remembrance of a happy time with Dimples is of the hero-worship and him as a child, happy, yes, but dependent and worshipful. It’s not WRONG that Freckles wanted to give that happiness and security to his brother, but he didn’t know how to do it outside of keeping him in a bubble. He never learned how because his father wasn’t capable of it. Dimples, on the other hand, never thought of leaving his family as leaving Freckles. He wanted to leave SIR. Even in the memory in the field, Dimples was happy because they were doing something SIR wouldn’t let them do. Every act was a rebellion against his father, not his brother. He was just oblivious and, yes, immature enough to not realize that he was his brother’s entire world. Sometimes I wonder if Dimples ever realized that he was more to Freckles than just a job or an obligation. I think perhaps in this episode he finally did.
I think that Dimples is ready to turn a corner, or at least I hope so. I think he is finally owning up to his place in this world and dilemma and knows he can’t run away any longer. He’s never had the blind courage to think about someone other than himself for longer than a moment, but I think he’s getting there. At least the way Jared played it in the end, I think that Freckles throwing away the amulet is going to make him want to fight HARDER, to prove that he is capable, to prove that he’s a honorable man, but also to prove that he truly believes in and loves his brother, whether he knows it or not. I don’t know how I came away from an episode that should have made me hate Dimples with a deeper understanding of him. I can feel Kat hugging herself with glee right now!
BESIDES: THEY ARE SOULMATES
Dimples Hair: I’m feeling generous so +0.5; Still no bangs -300
Jensen’s Perfection Level: somehow more beautiful every episode +500,000
Role Possibility: she wishes she was this awesome -10,000
Wincestosity: SOULMATES +TEN MILLION POINTS
(All gifs by vt-graphics with screencaps by Supernatural Caps)