Previously on Teen Wolf: Scott learned a new word, Stiles had to be dragged to school, and Derek went a little far with scratching a back. Allison and Lydia got shown up by a deer, Isaac was rescued by Wonder Woman, and Jackson debated signing an exclusivity contract with Randy Blue. Also, animals were feeling super suicidal.
No that wasn’t his reaction to being chosen lol, but to a comment/joke by Gilbert Gottfried. Well, Adam appeared on E’s Fashion Police for Joan’s 80th birthday episode. He along with Gilbert and an L.A. Laker were part of the “Mating Game”. Basically, you either like Joan and this show or you don’t lol.
But Adam looked like an adorable hottie and as potential date No. 3, was chosen by Joan.
Rather than having to suffer through- I mean watch-the whole episode, here is just Adam’s part, enjoy!
Welcome back, peeps! Season three promises to be darker, creepier, and more clothing-resistant than the past two seasons put together, so let’s dive in!
Previously on Teen Wolf: Scott killed his girlfriend’s grandpa, Stiles got beat up, and Derek perfected the four-legged running technique. Allison went psycho hunter on Boyd and Erica, Lydia cured her boyfriend with the power of her vagina love, and Jackson got an offer in gay porn after being noticed by Corbin Fisher. Also, there’s a pack of alphas and they want to kill everybody or whatever.
What is funnier than some mayoral heavy petting? It’s a good thing he never met Bill Clinton (that we know of) or else GOD KNOWS what Bill woulda done to Adam! 0_o
But srsly tho…
FUCK GRAVITY! WHO NEEDS GRAVITY WHEN ADAM FUCKING LAMBERT IS AROUND, PULLING YOU IN WITH HIS TRACTOR BEAM OF AWESOME? REMEMBER WHEN THAT APPLE FELL ON SIR ISAAC NEWTON? THAT WASN’T GRAVITY THAT WAS ADAM FUCKING LAMBERT FROM THE MOTHER FUCKING FUTURE PULLING THAT APPLE DOWN. AND THAT APPLE WANTED TO INTIMATELY PAT ADAM LAMBERT’S FUCKING BACK AS WELL BECAUSE HE IS JUST THAT AWESOME.
You know might be funnier than mayoral heavy petting? COMICALLY LARGE HAMMERS.
Adam was at some Just Jared summer kick off party slash McDonalds party for their new quarter pounders–something Adam probably has never ever had before LOL–and he was busy working off all the calories from his super sized bottle water by swinging a giant hammer.
WTF ADAM? IF YOU ARE GONNA HAVE SOME HAMMER TIME WHERE ARE YOUR HAREM PANTS?!?!
Wait wait wait. You know what is funnier than ALL THESE THINGS?
So LA continued their honoring of Adam and Adam was there and…
LOOKED LIKE THE MOTHER FUCKING LEADER OF THE MOTHER FUCKING FREE WORLD GIVING A SPEECH ABOUT IMPOVERISHED NATIONS OR NATO SANCTIONS OR WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION OR FUCKING BUDGET CUTS I DON’T EVEN KNOW…BUT HE MADE THAT PODIUM HIS BITCH!
Point is I had this reaction:
Turns out I wasn’t the only one berting their ever loving minds out today! Check out these tweets I favorited from fans who were in attendance:
Yeah that’s right. The whole LA city council was flipping their collective shit. UNF. He even charmed the chief of the fire department!
NOW IT WILL BE A SNAP GETTING TONS OF HOT FIRE FIGHTERS TO SHIMMY AROUND IN HIS NEXT MUSIC VIDEO! BONUS!!
EDITED TO ADD SOME VIDEO OF ONE OF THE CITY COUNCIL PEOPLE BERTING IN REAL TIME LIKE A MOFO. LMAOOOOO